I guess most of us have heard of tantric sex and massage. If someone had asked me what that was, I would have giggled shyly and muttered something about soft touch, feathers, massage and no orgasm. How wrong I was

Tantric massage is basically just a massage. However, it was created out of the belief that if you are sexually happy and relaxed, your health will benefit. The Hindus describe tantra as the attainment of personal growth through pleasant existence. The massage itself usually causes orgasms, but these are described as a bonus rather than a goal.

Although tantric massage does not involve actual penetrative sex, it does involve full organ touching. Because of this, you won’t find it at your local health center. You’re much more likely to find it in the many massage parlors in London and other major cities.

If you want to try it indoors with him or her, here’s a pretty basic guide to tantric massage.

First, from this point on, your manhood is called the lingam (wand of light – don’t think lightsaber, it’s not that big!) yonifeel.com/fr and the lady’s parts are called the yoni (sacred space or sacred temple). Let’s face it, these words sound a lot nicer than the alternatives.

If you are visiting for your massage, you must decide in advance whether you will strip naked or not. True tantric masseurs prefer you to be naked, believing that this aids the healing process of your whole body. If you are shy you can choose to put on some clothing, I guess you will want to cover your lingam or yoni. When you’re home with the wife or husband, take off your clothes and turn up the heat.

Choose soft music (whale music is optional). Now banish all thoughts of kneading your lover all over until he or she begs for mercy. It’s not that kind of massage. Have your lover lie on their back with their legs apart and a pillow under their hips to elevate the yoni/lingam area and a pillow under their head so they can look at their genitals. Explain to them that while there will be no penetration sex that night, you will take them to unprecedented heights of sexual satisfaction. It may help convince her if you don’t print out this article and put it on the bed next to her. Choose your lubricant wisely; Chocolate body sauce has no place here.

The massage itself involves every part of the body, although I think the yoni/lingam area will get more than its fair share of attention. The purpose of massaging the body is to prepare the recipient for the attention you will be giving to their genitals.

Yoni massage

Pour a small amount of oil onto the mound of the yoni, just enough to drip down the outer lips. Slowly massage each outer lip between your thumb and forefinger, sliding up and down the length of the lip. Just ask your lover if the pressure is too much or not enough. Try to look into her eyes during the massage and make sure she can see what you are doing. Do the same for the inner lips of the yoni. Take your time and watch your lover relax.

The jewel in the crown is the clitoris. Four times more sensitive than your lingam, so take it easy here. Begin by gently stroking it clockwise and counterclockwise, gently squeezing it between your thumb and forefinger. The woman will be really hot by now, but try not to orgasm just yet, let the sensations build. If it gets too much, just hold back a little and encourage her to breathe deeply. Now insert the middle finger of your right hand (I can’t remember why it has to be the right one, but I shouldn’t think it would cause too many problems if you had to use your left instead.) and feel gently Continue to gently massage inside.

With palm up and middle finger digging into yoni, bend your finger back toward palm and you should feel a spongy area just below pubic bone. This is known as the G spot (“that’s where it is!” I hear you scream). Gently massage here, in circles, back and forth, side to side. Your lover may feel the need to pee, but hopefully the desire should build up slowly. At this point, you may want to put your finger between your middle finger and pinky. While some of your fingers are busy inside, you can also use your thumb to continue circling the clitoris. Another option is to keep your middle finger in, continue stimulating the clitoris with your thumb, and insert your pinky into her anus. I would suggest that you might try the water as anal penetration first if you don’t expect it would definitely ruin the mood. With all of this going on, your left hand may be feeling a bit underused. Instead, use it to continue stroking and massaging other parts of her body (her body parts, not yours!). Your lover will most likely experience a very intense orgasm and then feel completely relaxed. She will generally fall asleep leaving you in a state of arousal with no prospect of a lingam massage for you tonight!

Lingam massage

Traditionally, it’s difficult for some men to sit back and think about England while his lover works on his wand of light. However, I suggest you give it a try considering the amazing massage you gave her yoni last night.

Get your man to lie down on the bed with a pillow under his head so he can see what you’re doing. Place a pillow under his hips and spread his legs with your knees bent. His lingam must be fully exposed. As before, start by gently massaging his whole body and avoiding that area for a while. This allows him to be completely relaxed and prepared to touch the lingam. Pour a small amount of oil over his shaft and balls and start massaging his balls gently. Next, massage the pubic area over the lingam. Massage the area between his testicles and his anus (perineum). Proceed to the lingam, gently grasp the base with your right hand and move the shaft up and then remove your hand, repeat with your left hand. Do this for a while, then switch to grabbing the lingam at the top, slide down the shaft and remove your hand, replacing it with your left hand and repeating this process. The head of the lingam is very sensitive and deserves special attention. Massage in circular motions. Don’t worry if the lingam softens, it will recover shortly. Likewise, if your partner seems close to orgasm, pull back and encourage deep breathing.

Keep bringing him close to orgasm, then pull back. This is not a method of torture but helps them control their ejaculation and thereby achieve longer and more pleasurable orgasms. As you continue to massage his lingam, you can search for his sacred place. This is between his testicles and his anus. It’s a small depression the size of a pea. If you massage here and gently increase the pressure, he may feel uncomfortable at first. Applying pressure here will help him gain control over his orgasms in the future. When he’s about to ejaculate, you can apply pressure here, which will increase the intensity of his orgasm.

The end of the massage is signaled by either ejaculation or snoring. If he snores, you need some more practice. If he’s ejaculated, you need to clear up a few things.

I’m still a total beginner, but I’ve found with joy that tantra massage is not some mysterious sex cult and it’s certainly not difficult. Anyone with an hour and a bottle of strawberry flavored body oil can do it.

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